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June 22, 2005 at 5:32 am #362HunterReavesMember
Hello, all –
Was reading the Onion online today and they’ve done an issue ostensibly from the year 2056. I dunno if y’all are familiar with the Onion, but it’s a satirical “newspaper” that’s really hilarious. Here are a couple of stories from this issue. (Notice the dateline on the first one.)
OZONE REPLETION PROJECT NEARLY FINISHED
MCMURDO, ANTARCTIC STATES–Franklin Serwacki, lead project administrator of the Global Ozone Restoration Initiative, announced Monday that the earth’s ozone layer will be restored to pre-Industrial Revolution levels by the end of the month. “With our new Bering Strait facility operating at full capacity, repletion of the ozone layer should be complete by… oh, I’d say next Thursday. It’s been a busy couple of weeks, but soon we’ll be able to look back on a job well done.” Serwacki then offered his apologies to the more than 6 billion people who were irreparably harmed by solar UV radiation in the several decades the project was delayed by tripartisan bickering.
REMAINDER OF ROSS ICE SHELF NOW IN SMITHSONIAN FREEZER
DC—The 25-meter-long remains of the Ross Ice Shelf, the floating Antarctic ice sheet that was once the size of France, will be displayed in the Smithsonian Institution’s basement freezer through August. “We thank the generous citizens of Philadelphia, who donated this polar-cap remnant when it washed up on their shores earlier this year,” curator Tim Riley said. “The ice sheet is a valuable artifact of the earth’s geological past.” Guests at an upcoming fundraising dinner will be served cocktails made with chunks of the shelf.
Great stuff, huh? Check out the whole issue online at http://www.theonion.com
All the best,
Hunter R.S.June 24, 2005 at 2:36 am #2548thepooles98Keymaster
I should run out and chop off a chunk while I have a chance. I like the Onion. There used to be a few copies floating around here.
How is life up north, Hunter. Are you writing for anyone yet?.
MikeJune 28, 2005 at 10:19 pm #2549HunterReavesMember
Hiya Mike –
Great to hear from ya. Life “up north” is just fine – currently enjoying a lovely NYC summer – not too hot yet, though it’s getting there. I swear, I think the Ice changed me – I’ve been sweating bullets ever since summer started, whereas I never used to.
Anyway, yeah, I’m back at the Rough Guides, editing travel books, and also working on a piece about the Ice for this San Fran-based literary magazine called The Believer (www.believermag.com). Should be exciting when I finish and it comes out; it’ll be about 5000 words, I think. I’ll be sure to send y’all a copy when it’s done.
All the best,
P.S. – Post some winter pics, Mike!June 30, 2005 at 8:55 am #2550thepooles98Keymaster
I keep meaning to update the photos, but for some reason I never seem to find the time. One of these days.
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